The world seems to wake up
As I drift into dreaming
It's minutes before 7
This is the only time I think I ever look at my alarm clock
Its becoming a ritual now
Scary, as I lie in bed I'm at my most thoughtful
Its relatively quiet
Ironically, the older the house gets the more noise it makes on its own
Love equally transitions in volume
Young, blissfully untamed
Passionate and direct
Public displays paint targets
And the sex seems to just be...
LOUD
Yet
Old love consistent like grandfather clocks
Never utters a tone on its own
It rather lets people speak for it
"They've been together for years"
"How do u do it?, what's ur secret?"
"Look at them", "Could that ever be us?"
The sun is finally up
My ideas seemed to make more sense before the rise
Certain types of thoughts are made for dark rooms
Did I purposely race against the dawn ?
Do we pick up flashlights so we don't have to cope
with who we might be in the dark ?
-DB
Monday, June 23, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
It's Been A While...
I haven't posted for a few days...It's been busy around here. Dinners and parties and clubs OH MY!!! I'm glad to see my blog is being appreciated. Know that I work hard (damn hard) to keep being who I am. Wow...this sentence took 10 minutes to type. Let's talk about weight loss. So i'm at one of the previously aformentioned dinners when some guy walks in. I think that even if I did recognize him I still wouldn't have said hello. So this "guy" walks in and throws his hand at me. I shake it, and realize that I do know this douchebag. Its M's cousin, that I went to school with. Not actually the same person because the guy I knew was a loser. Not intentionally of course, its just the fatness plus the crooked teeth plus round pudgey cheeks didnt have all the ladies calling if you pick up what I'm putting down. Back to the story at hand, He looks like the fucking hulk now, and mixed with the badge (police) I fear that the guy I knew and thought was a good dude then, might have breached the levees allowing douchebagness and tight shirt-itis to just flood the city. So my question is....is there a trade off between the physical and mental when you switch from one end of the spectrum to the other? If chunk from the goonies became zack morris is he now an asshole who doesn't share ice cream with the fat kid in the hawiian shirt?
When a guy meets a hot chick and she is not an idiot, its now something that needs to be shared with everybody..."you need to see this fucking girl bro...and...AND SHE IS FUCKING COOL...I know, I know...a fucking minotaur (they dont exist)" So what was jared like before?(subway guy) Is there exceptions for people who do it naturally as opposed to medically ?(Gastro-suction connect the large intestine thing operation) Life isn't easy (if i'm allowed to cliche) What doesnt make it easier are fat loser cool guys switching sides and playing for the red bull and vodka crowd. Why cant you tummy tuck and recite Clockwork Orange jargon?
The fetish crowd gets pwned too. You like fat chicks? well guess what? Fat chicks don't wanna be fat chicks. So the market gets smaller and smaller (no pun intended) because they want to bag themselves a skinny jean wearing sit-up doing creme cake. What's good about me...Wow...I don't know how to finish this....oh yeah...I love women...All women...except ugly ones...Cute white chicks, Cute black chicks, brunettes, blondes , red heads, spanish chicks, amputees...nah I'm just kidding...unless I can't tell and she doesn't make it her business to inform me...but than again there is an upside to someone who doesnt complain how rough you get with there extremities...ok sorry ADD...Bottom line...Men need to grow up and well basically...be more like me (yeah i just said that) Keep your preferences. Have your convictions. Whatever team you play for, open your eyes to the fact that maybe you should marry your preference of woman or civil union to your preference of dude but until then...give something up to the other 10,000,000,000 people who are stuck on this planet and have to pay taxes...It's like brussel sprouts...I never had them...some white kid in a movie once told me they were nasty, so i never ate them...At my awesome job, i was exposed to a brussel sprout affectionado and now...i'm wearing multi-colored shirts that say "brussel sprouts PWN!" I fuck with Brussel sprouts hard...steamed, napped, sauteed...MMmmm...so when you think of sex think of Brussel sprouts...think about opening yourself up to something that you didn't know you would think was awesome and good for you...Science may disagree with me but oral sex and eating vegatables go hand in hand...the same way nutrients cleanse and help your physical body; vagina can beta carotene my soul. Were they suicide bombers or vitamin V deficient? (ryhmes with GAGINA) So here's to hoping that guy isn't a douchebag and that fat girls finally learn that the sexiest thing a woman can wear is confidence...and cocoa butter.
til next time...fuck you and die slow,
-DB
When a guy meets a hot chick and she is not an idiot, its now something that needs to be shared with everybody..."you need to see this fucking girl bro...and...AND SHE IS FUCKING COOL...I know, I know...a fucking minotaur (they dont exist)" So what was jared like before?(subway guy) Is there exceptions for people who do it naturally as opposed to medically ?(Gastro-suction connect the large intestine thing operation) Life isn't easy (if i'm allowed to cliche) What doesnt make it easier are fat loser cool guys switching sides and playing for the red bull and vodka crowd. Why cant you tummy tuck and recite Clockwork Orange jargon?
The fetish crowd gets pwned too. You like fat chicks? well guess what? Fat chicks don't wanna be fat chicks. So the market gets smaller and smaller (no pun intended) because they want to bag themselves a skinny jean wearing sit-up doing creme cake. What's good about me...Wow...I don't know how to finish this....oh yeah...I love women...All women...except ugly ones...Cute white chicks, Cute black chicks, brunettes, blondes , red heads, spanish chicks, amputees...nah I'm just kidding...unless I can't tell and she doesn't make it her business to inform me...but than again there is an upside to someone who doesnt complain how rough you get with there extremities...ok sorry ADD...Bottom line...Men need to grow up and well basically...be more like me (yeah i just said that) Keep your preferences. Have your convictions. Whatever team you play for, open your eyes to the fact that maybe you should marry your preference of woman or civil union to your preference of dude but until then...give something up to the other 10,000,000,000 people who are stuck on this planet and have to pay taxes...It's like brussel sprouts...I never had them...some white kid in a movie once told me they were nasty, so i never ate them...At my awesome job, i was exposed to a brussel sprout affectionado and now...i'm wearing multi-colored shirts that say "brussel sprouts PWN!" I fuck with Brussel sprouts hard...steamed, napped, sauteed...MMmmm...so when you think of sex think of Brussel sprouts...think about opening yourself up to something that you didn't know you would think was awesome and good for you...Science may disagree with me but oral sex and eating vegatables go hand in hand...the same way nutrients cleanse and help your physical body; vagina can beta carotene my soul. Were they suicide bombers or vitamin V deficient? (ryhmes with GAGINA) So here's to hoping that guy isn't a douchebag and that fat girls finally learn that the sexiest thing a woman can wear is confidence...and cocoa butter.
til next time...fuck you and die slow,
-DB
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Be Kind Rewind...
Be Kind Rewind sucked monkey balls...there wasnt a recently released movie that I
had this much anticipation for. I saw the trailers. Fucking Mos Def and Jack Black recreating
old school movies. Premise = Awesome. The movie is best though of like a great idea. Let's take eating. Eating is an awesome idea. As is drinking but thats another day (Go Beer!). Ok, So you're like eating yum yum oh man what a great idea. Now I can be alive and shit. But you fucked up. First, you had mashed potatoes and eggs for breakfast. Followed by a pre-lunch snack of dunkaroos (choc. fudge flavor obviously) and sunny delight (not the good one). By lunch, you already feel 20/10 and here comes your mother with a plate of red bean cassarole (potaje rocks). The pumpkin and ham hocks form a fucking awesome tag team of flavor (legion of doom obviously.) But its now 1:15. Your brother is taking a shit, another one taking a shower and you dad is brushing his teeth. The thought of racing up the stairs, moaning, while gripping your underbelly with the tips of your fingers trying to suppress the inevitable shit bomb that is to set for take off. That is how I would describe watching Be Kind Rewind...before it gets any good (i use good loosley) you're wondering why on earth did you eat those fucking dunkaroos? Cuz now your in a cluster of fucks that could have been prevented. Danny Glover is horrible. Yeah he's in the movie. With this fucking lispy accent speaking a remidial dialogue that mid-movie, has you glimpsing in the mirror asking yourself, What the fuck is going on here? Ditto for Mos Def. I thought the character in 16 Blocks was fucking annoying; What precious gift I was in store for here. I'm starting to think he is doing this on purpose. Jack Black has a few moments where his improv is great, but again the mirror just kept calling to me. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE? A jazz musician? What?!? None of that shit was in the trailer. Talk about judging a book by its cover. Well I learned my lesson. I would've rather paid upfront for sex and than realized the nice hooker's adams apple than the betrayl I was handed by this movie's premise (maybe). I don't know. It was definately a Chuck and Larry experience. You sit down thinking laughs are coming not a big gay PSA. So I guess that's my first movie review lol
On another note...
I ran 6 miles today. Yeah. Me...I did that shit. Seriously. My thighs feel like they've been rubbed down with coconut shells (the brown ones). Do skinny people chafe? I can't help but think if my thighs weren't so fucking...i'm just gonna use big, that maybe I wouldn't have to buy stock in
Johnson & Johnson's Baby powder division. Who uses the word talc? My mom always called the shit Talco (thats tal-co, for my colored brothers and sisters.) I told my sister (16) that we used to dump the shit all over the floor and slide up and down the floor in socks and she just asked me, Why? My response was that obviously she could never understand the tenacity and strategy needed to play Talc-Wars. Yes it was a full-contact sport. Try deep breathing after getting dockey kicked in the balls with a 1/2 inch of talc by your mouth. It gets rough.
Anyway...BTTSAH (Back to the story at hand)...So I'm fucking running...and power walking with weights on my arms, i know, why the fuck right? Cause get skinny or die trying is the motto bitch. Everybody needs a motto. Obama for change. Hillary for....wait what the fuck was her motto...Hillary cause you don't really want THEM in power, do you? That would've been hilarious. What does America think is gonna happen? It's like you have a big town meeting and somebody gets rowdy, stands up and shouts. I hear he's gon bring more of em' from A-frica! Followed by sharp groans and mumbling. I hear that he's gonna make it easier to get healthcare. You know what that means, more colored kids who are gonna grow up to be gangsters and rappers and fedEx workers. I didn't want to admit it, but I am a Lupe fan. That fucker just suckered me into listening and one session is all it takes. I think its because I take intelligence for granted, not because I'm immersed in it. But because it gets tiring being the only one who knows what the fuck is what. So yeah, Lupe is fucking ping poon ping. If it wasn't 3 am, I would get into the Joe Budden struggle, but I just can't risk getting that angry over something I could never change. Blogging is fun. K wants to get mentioned, and if you know me I'm all about people pleasing lol. So K is the greatest. Which isn't far from the truth but thats just my opinion.
So I'll leave you with two quotes (I'll be that guy.)
The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.
Friedrich Nietzsche, Ecce Homo...one I give constant usage.
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.
Voltaire
If you get the chance..The Candide is a great read by Voltaire.
Til' next time, fuck you and die slow.
-DB
had this much anticipation for. I saw the trailers. Fucking Mos Def and Jack Black recreating
old school movies. Premise = Awesome. The movie is best though of like a great idea. Let's take eating. Eating is an awesome idea. As is drinking but thats another day (Go Beer!). Ok, So you're like eating yum yum oh man what a great idea. Now I can be alive and shit. But you fucked up. First, you had mashed potatoes and eggs for breakfast. Followed by a pre-lunch snack of dunkaroos (choc. fudge flavor obviously) and sunny delight (not the good one). By lunch, you already feel 20/10 and here comes your mother with a plate of red bean cassarole (potaje rocks). The pumpkin and ham hocks form a fucking awesome tag team of flavor (legion of doom obviously.) But its now 1:15. Your brother is taking a shit, another one taking a shower and you dad is brushing his teeth. The thought of racing up the stairs, moaning, while gripping your underbelly with the tips of your fingers trying to suppress the inevitable shit bomb that is to set for take off. That is how I would describe watching Be Kind Rewind...before it gets any good (i use good loosley) you're wondering why on earth did you eat those fucking dunkaroos? Cuz now your in a cluster of fucks that could have been prevented. Danny Glover is horrible. Yeah he's in the movie. With this fucking lispy accent speaking a remidial dialogue that mid-movie, has you glimpsing in the mirror asking yourself, What the fuck is going on here? Ditto for Mos Def. I thought the character in 16 Blocks was fucking annoying; What precious gift I was in store for here. I'm starting to think he is doing this on purpose. Jack Black has a few moments where his improv is great, but again the mirror just kept calling to me. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE? A jazz musician? What?!? None of that shit was in the trailer. Talk about judging a book by its cover. Well I learned my lesson. I would've rather paid upfront for sex and than realized the nice hooker's adams apple than the betrayl I was handed by this movie's premise (maybe). I don't know. It was definately a Chuck and Larry experience. You sit down thinking laughs are coming not a big gay PSA. So I guess that's my first movie review lol
On another note...
I ran 6 miles today. Yeah. Me...I did that shit. Seriously. My thighs feel like they've been rubbed down with coconut shells (the brown ones). Do skinny people chafe? I can't help but think if my thighs weren't so fucking...i'm just gonna use big, that maybe I wouldn't have to buy stock in
Johnson & Johnson's Baby powder division. Who uses the word talc? My mom always called the shit Talco (thats tal-co, for my colored brothers and sisters.) I told my sister (16) that we used to dump the shit all over the floor and slide up and down the floor in socks and she just asked me, Why? My response was that obviously she could never understand the tenacity and strategy needed to play Talc-Wars. Yes it was a full-contact sport. Try deep breathing after getting dockey kicked in the balls with a 1/2 inch of talc by your mouth. It gets rough.
Anyway...BTTSAH (Back to the story at hand)...So I'm fucking running...and power walking with weights on my arms, i know, why the fuck right? Cause get skinny or die trying is the motto bitch. Everybody needs a motto. Obama for change. Hillary for....wait what the fuck was her motto...Hillary cause you don't really want THEM in power, do you? That would've been hilarious. What does America think is gonna happen? It's like you have a big town meeting and somebody gets rowdy, stands up and shouts. I hear he's gon bring more of em' from A-frica! Followed by sharp groans and mumbling. I hear that he's gonna make it easier to get healthcare. You know what that means, more colored kids who are gonna grow up to be gangsters and rappers and fedEx workers. I didn't want to admit it, but I am a Lupe fan. That fucker just suckered me into listening and one session is all it takes. I think its because I take intelligence for granted, not because I'm immersed in it. But because it gets tiring being the only one who knows what the fuck is what. So yeah, Lupe is fucking ping poon ping. If it wasn't 3 am, I would get into the Joe Budden struggle, but I just can't risk getting that angry over something I could never change. Blogging is fun. K wants to get mentioned, and if you know me I'm all about people pleasing lol. So K is the greatest. Which isn't far from the truth but thats just my opinion.
So I'll leave you with two quotes (I'll be that guy.)
The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.
Friedrich Nietzsche, Ecce Homo...one I give constant usage.
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.
Voltaire
If you get the chance..The Candide is a great read by Voltaire.
Til' next time, fuck you and die slow.
-DB
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Feeling Woohoo...
Work is the greatest thing ever...
I know many people (mostly african americans and whites) disagree but it truly is.
I love the feeling of knowing I have a skill (Marathon Masturbation doesn't count)
that someone feels is useful. I have amazing hours and make great money.
Sometimes I have too little to do with too much free time to do it in. Just finished a book, Ghosts of Manila by Mark Kram. Awesome...It tells the real story behind one of the biggest
assholes in history. Ali gets nothing but love cause of his Parkinson's, but he is anything but
deserving of such praise. Society is a hoot. Almost jealous of him, I could fill a facebook site with names of people who can't stand me, but...If i can somehow get Parkinson's I'm gonna be Tila Tequila. Is he a legend? Yeah. Was he this great guy? Hell no...Douchebag is the appropriate term. As a boxing enthusiast, I have nothing but love for his style and technique, and i use that word loosely because his technique wasnt technical at all. Ali's greatest weapons were his fucking flawless jab, speed around the ring and an uncanny awareness of proximity. Joe Frazier on the other hand, relied on one punch (Thee Left Hook) and a chin made of fucking whale bone infused with adamantium. (see Wolverine.) And he gets no love...why? cause Ali made it his business to son him out everywhere...Uncle Tom, Gorilla Face, Ugly Black etc. etc.
Bottom line, this book cuts through the bullshit and even tells a tale of after Ali-Frazier 1, Somebody walks in on Diana Ross blowing the champ not 10 minutes after the grueling fight.
Pretty sweet if you ask me. Both the fight and the Blow J...
Other stuff, I dont know why people use the word black. Obama is a lite Birchwood, Caramel. When I close my eyes I see black, not obama's skin. Which is why I think we should bring back the word COLORED. I find that it isnt degrading and more truthful than black as a term. Oh also, Watch the Great Debaters. It was really good. Fucking Denzel is a sock rocker as in rocks my socks...and not in a gay way. I wonder why so many people flock to see Madea and not Akeelah and the bee or the great debaters?..hmm? but than that brings up who is obligated to support their own cultures and businesses and in this world of blame shifting and hooplah, nobody is gonna fess up. (That means you too, Al Sharpton)
Whew! this blogging thing is fun. Now I just need people to start reading it.
Shout out to TY, RAH, AJ and Du
Til' next time.
Fuck you and die slow,
-DB
I know many people (mostly african americans and whites) disagree but it truly is.
I love the feeling of knowing I have a skill (Marathon Masturbation doesn't count)
that someone feels is useful. I have amazing hours and make great money.
Sometimes I have too little to do with too much free time to do it in. Just finished a book, Ghosts of Manila by Mark Kram. Awesome...It tells the real story behind one of the biggest
assholes in history. Ali gets nothing but love cause of his Parkinson's, but he is anything but
deserving of such praise. Society is a hoot. Almost jealous of him, I could fill a facebook site with names of people who can't stand me, but...If i can somehow get Parkinson's I'm gonna be Tila Tequila. Is he a legend? Yeah. Was he this great guy? Hell no...Douchebag is the appropriate term. As a boxing enthusiast, I have nothing but love for his style and technique, and i use that word loosely because his technique wasnt technical at all. Ali's greatest weapons were his fucking flawless jab, speed around the ring and an uncanny awareness of proximity. Joe Frazier on the other hand, relied on one punch (Thee Left Hook) and a chin made of fucking whale bone infused with adamantium. (see Wolverine.) And he gets no love...why? cause Ali made it his business to son him out everywhere...Uncle Tom, Gorilla Face, Ugly Black etc. etc.
Bottom line, this book cuts through the bullshit and even tells a tale of after Ali-Frazier 1, Somebody walks in on Diana Ross blowing the champ not 10 minutes after the grueling fight.
Pretty sweet if you ask me. Both the fight and the Blow J...
Other stuff, I dont know why people use the word black. Obama is a lite Birchwood, Caramel. When I close my eyes I see black, not obama's skin. Which is why I think we should bring back the word COLORED. I find that it isnt degrading and more truthful than black as a term. Oh also, Watch the Great Debaters. It was really good. Fucking Denzel is a sock rocker as in rocks my socks...and not in a gay way. I wonder why so many people flock to see Madea and not Akeelah and the bee or the great debaters?..hmm? but than that brings up who is obligated to support their own cultures and businesses and in this world of blame shifting and hooplah, nobody is gonna fess up. (That means you too, Al Sharpton)
Whew! this blogging thing is fun. Now I just need people to start reading it.
Shout out to TY, RAH, AJ and Du
Til' next time.
Fuck you and die slow,
-DB
Center Stage...
A Different Dynamic
I only fight with you
Cause you're important to me
I don't argue with idiots
Or hear the opinions of fools
Who could fill pools with what they don't know
So although,
you steady complain
About the time we spend bickering,
you fail to notice
The level of regard I hold you in
So instead of hoping
I learn to hold-in
My view of the the things
You tend to disagree with
See that's it's me with
Who you want to be with
Know its harder to fight with you
Then disregard you completely
And sometimes...I want to piss you off
Scared of things getting boring
I change the lyrics of a song
Tell you the sky's green
And how I'm never wrong
Change plans and leave you hanging on your birthday
To provoke you into brawling
Make sure no other man comes calling
Because they may say different but
No lady wants a good man
And every chick I treated like shit
I still top off their list of top ten
Explain that...
-DB
I only fight with you
Cause you're important to me
I don't argue with idiots
Or hear the opinions of fools
Who could fill pools with what they don't know
So although,
you steady complain
About the time we spend bickering,
you fail to notice
The level of regard I hold you in
So instead of hoping
I learn to hold-in
My view of the the things
You tend to disagree with
See that's it's me with
Who you want to be with
Know its harder to fight with you
Then disregard you completely
And sometimes...I want to piss you off
Scared of things getting boring
I change the lyrics of a song
Tell you the sky's green
And how I'm never wrong
Change plans and leave you hanging on your birthday
To provoke you into brawling
Make sure no other man comes calling
Because they may say different but
No lady wants a good man
And every chick I treated like shit
I still top off their list of top ten
Explain that...
-DB
Welcome...
Ok..I'm always honest. Rarely optimistic, probably suffering from many a syndrome and complex. This Blog will consist of Late Night Thoughts, Poems, Epiphanies and other misc. ramblings. With that said, Hi I'm DB. Welcome to The BRIG...
After Hours
I do sit ups. I run 4 miles a day, yeah and that's 7 days a week. I've started eating better. It's only the beginning but I'm a little anxious waiting for the results. The scary thing is I feel heavier. I always feel heavy. Since We broke up, what started out as a cloud...a son of a bitch cloud, though light as it was, followed me everywhere. Then the cloud became an anvil. Not just any anvil but the heaviest anvil; like a super anvil forged from the bowels of the titanic. And I run. I run with this weight on me. Run for 7 days a week. Not to be thin or healthy. But to try to shed some of this weight. I try, I mean I really try to be honorable. Honorable enough to walk away. To know that I deserve more and demand it. But I fail everytime in wanting to accept that you can't give it to me. I can't believe something like that. It sounds ridiculous. Beyond ridiculous. I love you. And you take everything I offer, my best, and disregard it. Find excuses and reasons and clauses for our much needed seperation. I'm not perfect and I'm not delusional. I know we work. Deep down, in places where things are supposed to matter. And where my gut feelings and best hunches are gather. I know that we are meant to be. There are times when I'm unhappy with you. Times when I doubt. The voice inside warns me that mistakes are being made. We are only human you know? I want you to know that no one could replace you. That the shoes you leave are unfillable. I have no point to this letter. There is no point to much things. Who knows why we take shots in the dark? Who knows why we climb mountains? I wish and pray that you come to your senses but you won't. I think you're content with loving me from afar. As if what we had was a museumed crown. Beautiful and full of worth but encased in glass. Not meant for human touch. I would ask why? but asking is futile at best. I am not giving up on you. I have tried harder at that than all of my other achievements combined and there is no trophy to show for it. My world feels...hollow. I wish you were strong enough to help. Strong enough to endure. Strong enough to take a shot in the dark. I wonder alone if the joke is on me. If sifting through issues I cross loyal and devoted and border on pathetic and insipid. But no one said faith would be easy. No one said climbing a mountain gets easier. That doesn't mean no one should try; and keep trying. Fuck me for hating hills. And fuck you too Mountains.
This open letter was written some time ago. Felt like it was worth posting.
Felt obligated to post it. Maybe one of your need to read something like this to
find strength to keep going or let go.
Anyway, people move on, shit changes and best friends become strangers, word up! (nas)
-DB
After Hours
I do sit ups. I run 4 miles a day, yeah and that's 7 days a week. I've started eating better. It's only the beginning but I'm a little anxious waiting for the results. The scary thing is I feel heavier. I always feel heavy. Since We broke up, what started out as a cloud...a son of a bitch cloud, though light as it was, followed me everywhere. Then the cloud became an anvil. Not just any anvil but the heaviest anvil; like a super anvil forged from the bowels of the titanic. And I run. I run with this weight on me. Run for 7 days a week. Not to be thin or healthy. But to try to shed some of this weight. I try, I mean I really try to be honorable. Honorable enough to walk away. To know that I deserve more and demand it. But I fail everytime in wanting to accept that you can't give it to me. I can't believe something like that. It sounds ridiculous. Beyond ridiculous. I love you. And you take everything I offer, my best, and disregard it. Find excuses and reasons and clauses for our much needed seperation. I'm not perfect and I'm not delusional. I know we work. Deep down, in places where things are supposed to matter. And where my gut feelings and best hunches are gather. I know that we are meant to be. There are times when I'm unhappy with you. Times when I doubt. The voice inside warns me that mistakes are being made. We are only human you know? I want you to know that no one could replace you. That the shoes you leave are unfillable. I have no point to this letter. There is no point to much things. Who knows why we take shots in the dark? Who knows why we climb mountains? I wish and pray that you come to your senses but you won't. I think you're content with loving me from afar. As if what we had was a museumed crown. Beautiful and full of worth but encased in glass. Not meant for human touch. I would ask why? but asking is futile at best. I am not giving up on you. I have tried harder at that than all of my other achievements combined and there is no trophy to show for it. My world feels...hollow. I wish you were strong enough to help. Strong enough to endure. Strong enough to take a shot in the dark. I wonder alone if the joke is on me. If sifting through issues I cross loyal and devoted and border on pathetic and insipid. But no one said faith would be easy. No one said climbing a mountain gets easier. That doesn't mean no one should try; and keep trying. Fuck me for hating hills. And fuck you too Mountains.
This open letter was written some time ago. Felt like it was worth posting.
Felt obligated to post it. Maybe one of your need to read something like this to
find strength to keep going or let go.
Anyway, people move on, shit changes and best friends become strangers, word up! (nas)
-DB
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