I haven't posted for a few days...It's been busy around here. Dinners and parties and clubs OH MY!!! I'm glad to see my blog is being appreciated. Know that I work hard (damn hard) to keep being who I am. Wow...this sentence took 10 minutes to type. Let's talk about weight loss. So i'm at one of the previously aformentioned dinners when some guy walks in. I think that even if I did recognize him I still wouldn't have said hello. So this "guy" walks in and throws his hand at me. I shake it, and realize that I do know this douchebag. Its M's cousin, that I went to school with. Not actually the same person because the guy I knew was a loser. Not intentionally of course, its just the fatness plus the crooked teeth plus round pudgey cheeks didnt have all the ladies calling if you pick up what I'm putting down. Back to the story at hand, He looks like the fucking hulk now, and mixed with the badge (police) I fear that the guy I knew and thought was a good dude then, might have breached the levees allowing douchebagness and tight shirt-itis to just flood the city. So my question is....is there a trade off between the physical and mental when you switch from one end of the spectrum to the other? If chunk from the goonies became zack morris is he now an asshole who doesn't share ice cream with the fat kid in the hawiian shirt?
When a guy meets a hot chick and she is not an idiot, its now something that needs to be shared with everybody..."you need to see this fucking girl bro...and...AND SHE IS FUCKING COOL...I know, I know...a fucking minotaur (they dont exist)" So what was jared like before?(subway guy) Is there exceptions for people who do it naturally as opposed to medically ?(Gastro-suction connect the large intestine thing operation) Life isn't easy (if i'm allowed to cliche) What doesnt make it easier are fat loser cool guys switching sides and playing for the red bull and vodka crowd. Why cant you tummy tuck and recite Clockwork Orange jargon?
The fetish crowd gets pwned too. You like fat chicks? well guess what? Fat chicks don't wanna be fat chicks. So the market gets smaller and smaller (no pun intended) because they want to bag themselves a skinny jean wearing sit-up doing creme cake. What's good about me...Wow...I don't know how to finish this....oh yeah...I love women...All women...except ugly ones...Cute white chicks, Cute black chicks, brunettes, blondes , red heads, spanish chicks, amputees...nah I'm just kidding...unless I can't tell and she doesn't make it her business to inform me...but than again there is an upside to someone who doesnt complain how rough you get with there extremities...ok sorry ADD...Bottom line...Men need to grow up and well basically...be more like me (yeah i just said that) Keep your preferences. Have your convictions. Whatever team you play for, open your eyes to the fact that maybe you should marry your preference of woman or civil union to your preference of dude but until then...give something up to the other 10,000,000,000 people who are stuck on this planet and have to pay taxes...It's like brussel sprouts...I never had them...some white kid in a movie once told me they were nasty, so i never ate them...At my awesome job, i was exposed to a brussel sprout affectionado and now...i'm wearing multi-colored shirts that say "brussel sprouts PWN!" I fuck with Brussel sprouts hard...steamed, napped, sauteed...MMmmm...so when you think of sex think of Brussel sprouts...think about opening yourself up to something that you didn't know you would think was awesome and good for you...Science may disagree with me but oral sex and eating vegatables go hand in hand...the same way nutrients cleanse and help your physical body; vagina can beta carotene my soul. Were they suicide bombers or vitamin V deficient? (ryhmes with GAGINA) So here's to hoping that guy isn't a douchebag and that fat girls finally learn that the sexiest thing a woman can wear is confidence...and cocoa butter.
til next time...fuck you and die slow,
-DB
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