Welcome...

Ok..I'm always honest. Rarely optimistic, probably suffering from many a syndrome and complex. This Blog will consist of Late Night Thoughts, Poems, Epiphanies and other misc. ramblings. With that said, Hi I'm DB. Welcome to The BRIG...

After Hours


I do sit ups. I run 4 miles a day, yeah and that's 7 days a week. I've started eating better. It's only the beginning but I'm a little anxious waiting for the results. The scary thing is I feel heavier. I always feel heavy. Since We broke up, what started out as a cloud...a son of a bitch cloud, though light as it was, followed me everywhere. Then the cloud became an anvil. Not just any anvil but the heaviest anvil; like a super anvil forged from the bowels of the titanic. And I run. I run with this weight on me. Run for 7 days a week. Not to be thin or healthy. But to try to shed some of this weight. I try, I mean I really try to be honorable. Honorable enough to walk away. To know that I deserve more and demand it. But I fail everytime in wanting to accept that you can't give it to me. I can't believe something like that. It sounds ridiculous. Beyond ridiculous. I love you. And you take everything I offer, my best, and disregard it. Find excuses and reasons and clauses for our much needed seperation. I'm not perfect and I'm not delusional. I know we work. Deep down, in places where things are supposed to matter. And where my gut feelings and best hunches are gather. I know that we are meant to be. There are times when I'm unhappy with you. Times when I doubt. The voice inside warns me that mistakes are being made. We are only human you know? I want you to know that no one could replace you. That the shoes you leave are unfillable. I have no point to this letter. There is no point to much things. Who knows why we take shots in the dark? Who knows why we climb mountains? I wish and pray that you come to your senses but you won't. I think you're content with loving me from afar. As if what we had was a museumed crown. Beautiful and full of worth but encased in glass. Not meant for human touch. I would ask why? but asking is futile at best. I am not giving up on you. I have tried harder at that than all of my other achievements combined and there is no trophy to show for it. My world feels...hollow. I wish you were strong enough to help. Strong enough to endure. Strong enough to take a shot in the dark. I wonder alone if the joke is on me. If sifting through issues I cross loyal and devoted and border on pathetic and insipid. But no one said faith would be easy. No one said climbing a mountain gets easier. That doesn't mean no one should try; and keep trying. Fuck me for hating hills. And fuck you too Mountains.


This open letter was written some time ago. Felt like it was worth posting.
Felt obligated to post it. Maybe one of your need to read something like this to
find strength to keep going or let go.

Anyway, people move on, shit changes and best friends become strangers, word up! (nas)

-DB