Detox...

You're boys' back in the building, Jersey we back on the map...Me and my beautiful biiiiiiiiiiitttt....wait...stop the tape lol...I have had another epiphany ladies and gentlemen...I deserve exactly what I get....I know I've told you I wasnt a good guy (details to follow) but it hit me more this week then ever before....yes you know what that means...I've been hanging out with my spiritual advisor and all around the pound for pound best guy I know....Manny Pacquiao....nah just fucking around...Big Du...One day I hope to be able to hand you my handful of good deed marbles (inside story)....I am getting closer to my six pack....I eat healthy (fuck me, I know) regularly now...Dont drink as much (ask haas, he hates it lol) and am saving money up to film my movie...but you know whats missing...that glow...yes like bruce leroy...I get the glow...and in total Danny Brigante fashion I feel the only way back to glowing (i think) is to spew the truth....About me, about you, about ray j lol....YEAH COCKTAIL...FUCK YOU UNIQUE (that was for jane)...Ok so let me start at the tippity.....whewwww....its been a while but I will try to give you my honest view of the last year cause like a selfish fuck I've been holding back....without further ado, here is (in no real chronological order) my thoughts....The year started out weak...except for my new found dedication to return to my former physical glory...I had recently dropped the fantasy of re-uniting with my "soulmate", kicked my best friend of 20 yrs. to the curb, lost my little brother to a woman (ie. devil)...shit, sorry I dont know much about pacing lol...Ok I know where we can start....People change....I get it...for the better sometimes for the worse...basically, (and in now way am I saying I'm bible-worthy) I held him down his whole prison stint when his family dropped him, when he didnt have a nickel after getting out, and during the hilarity of his relationship...for what? I dont have that answer...brotherhood? maybe....all that hard work and friendship was for nothing because I get anti-social and cant fuck with anybody who doesnt believe in progress by any means....quoting kat williams "nigga if you doing the same shit you were doing last year, something's fucking wrong"....i just couldn't relinquish within me the emergence of the idea that when we were apart I was always better myself or my situation....I sever ties...and I lose weight...I graduate...I land a great job...I write a movie....I get famous, blow up and make millions and am found by TMZ exiting a hotel with Sienna Miller...holy fuck I wish..but I do wish that person the best...good luck sir, maybe all of your hourly waged dream come true....I also gave up on love...that was a hard thing to do let me tell you...I was cruel...necessarily cruel...we were toying with the notion of quitting and actually did for a few months...but then....she starts calling as "friends" for "advice"....I wasnt having that....I said a few things, and hung up....and never looked back...which at the time I thought was a good thing...but I figured it out today (while looking...i mean stalking lol....her facebook)...how did I accomplish that with me having her blocked at all times? Ah ha, wouldn't you like to know....anyway....I caught wind of her having this October deadline...arrogance has me thinking it is one to get over me....or something of the like...I could only imagine the "support" coming from my fanbase of her best friends lol...and I use that word loosely....where was I?....oh yeah the epiphany....we never belonged together...you see seperate we are stars....but together we are just....explosive....you can't have that...all this time I've thought this weak fuck was a snake faggot fuck....no he isnt...he's perfect....for her...a star needs a sidekick, not another star....we need someone who doesnt burn as bright, takes up less stage....I looked at countless (9 lol) pictures of them and it kinda just clicked...this poor bastard is great for her...I mean I'm not a homo, she is still the most gorgeous thing on earth.....and the mere mention of her name will always ring a bell inside (thanks haas for mentioning her amazing looking profile picture at IHOP lol)....and probably the last black girl I will EVER date lol....but its just not worth having such hate/negativity in life....Love isn't worth what it used to be....if you know me then you are asking yourself one question...yes I did rub one out to one of the pictures lol....I mean you cant take all the memories out of your head....bathroom of the res life banquet (amazing)....you see shit like that, he is incapable of....which is why you shouldn't wait til October....ummm...so....good luck....Now moving on....ok, twice shit...I did it twice, couldnt help it bro, she is always gonna be hot lol....I also moved on a FWB's (friend with benefits) best friend...mutual as all hell but if you see the history of me and women (previous story) I'm like jack nicholson...I look better playing the bad guy then most.....so I always just go with it.....no I dont want your pity...Im just stating the obvious....so it's like this...I sent a inappropriate text to so and so, the FWB saw it, texts me with the much deserved "I hate you, we aren't friends" and so and so salvages their friendship by throwing me under the bus....phony? yeah, well-deserved? you betcha lol...you see I dont want to hurt anyone but DB lives his life the way he wants to...no one makes the decisions for me (sorry that was a jab at you lol) I knew if the FWB found the text she would be hurt and yet I sent it anyway, douchebag...I know....but I will always follow the old blood pumper when it comes to attraction....wow I feel better already....Rah recently told me, and I quote, "The one thing I love and respect about you that everybody hates is when you have something to say you say the shit, you just cant hold shit in." Thank you Rah....I mean it's hard my man....To always be real, while the people who lie and act fake get all the perks of being real with none of the headaches....but I just always have to...Do I have a million friends? No....and I think it's the way I've always wanted it...which is why Du has been put in my life...for every indiscretion I commit, there is a convo that shows me the ....I wanna say, the wrongness....of my actions....and he prays I do better the next time....thank you brother....really....28 lbs. to my perfect body....shit I want a six pack lol...I've become even more vane in the last few weeks, but I gave up hookers for good...(sorry Betzida)...cant be doing that shit, its a recession you know.....my baby killed her first lead in the school play...not too many things, not DB-related, perk me up like the thought of her shining....oh shit there I go being a good guy....I'll try to cut that shit out....gotta give the haters more things to knock....ummm....I'm getting back into training soon....Not gonna compete for titles or anything but I'mma give MMA a shot....or aikido....seems logical that as time changes, having a sick left hook isnt enough anymore....I had this dream a few times a week, for the last month or two....Its I AM LEGEND, no will smith, just me and my dog shadow....yes, there are zombies (shout out to HAAS)...but the thing is that I am alone....it quiet...and as sick as it sounds, I am.....happy...I dont know lol...maybe i'm the one who is settling for a lesser all around situation....but like I said before I think I deserve it....you know what, I am gonna try to be nicer to people...maybe if I do better, I'll get better....I cut off another best friend last week (I think it's my super power lol) but before you judge it was totally deserved...I mean if you're gonna go all out for people who treat you like shit and abuse your "love" or I should say your need to be accepted, then you should give the people who do love you and do accept you every last drop of your stillborn babies' blood....not the case I guess....asking for a favor just gives you the chance to me "yourself"....and after, belittle the whole situation so I get even more enraged....I get it....you dont see how what you do or I should say, dont do, affects people...god, I really just wanna say that you are exactly who they say you are....a judgemental and condescending brat....whew....I want to say that I apologize to everyone for most (lol) of the things that have cause anyone any strife....it just hit me though, maybe the reason she hasn't let go of "me", is cause she realized she is to blame for 50% of the nonsense, that was last year....either way waiting for an Oct. finish is dumb...I mean he does "love you" LOL....ok sorry that was the last joke...I do wish you the best....all of you....and you never know....maybe we can all move on and be "friends" LOL


yes, even you V (you obnoxious little troll, who no man will ever love cause you're damaged)

nah just kidding...seriously though ask yourself why no one is faithful to you...facebook me, i can help lol....ok ok...being nice starts now ha ha
FYDS...bitches

-D to the