Finding my groove...

4th of july is gone...the weekend was pretty quiet. Just had a crazy few nights with my brother STD. Kinda miss the rain. It's so fucking hot and sunny lately, that the rain has replaced hostess cupcakes (the ones with the white swirly loop shit on top) as the item I need more off. Been reading like crazy too. Exercise and dieting have taken the traditional backseat and I sliced a piece of my finger off last night. So without further ado, here is the latest entry for the brig...


Prostitution is said to be the world's oldest profession. You figure carpentry didn't couldn't be without the invention of the hammer. With the caveman inventing the first one for chipping away ice or stone. While the claw hammer was invented by the Romans. The modern equivalent was invented in 1840 by the American blacksmith, David Maydole. Prostiution started with the barter system. (Good old barter system!) Eve really wanted Adam to eat that fucking apple. But what is the oldest hobby. Wood carving? no, you would need wood and tools for shaping. Baseball cards?...no, i think you need the game of baseball which didn't come around until the game Oina, a very similar bat-and-ball traditional game played in Romania was mentioned for the first time during the rule of King Vlaicu Voda, in 1364. With the first game being played in North America in Hoboken ,NJ. (Jersey baby! yeaaah!!) I would like you to direct your attention to the definition of hobby.

Hobby - an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation.

So the only word that comes to mind when thinking of the first hobby shared by men and women is....(dun duh dun), masterbation. Now how the hell could the first activity used for pleasure and relaxation come with such a negative connotation. Strike me but I'm pretty sure helicopter flying and i dont know fucking painting will go obselete before the old meat wacking session does. If you get the chance, check out this hilarious Mormon stance on masturbation as an addiction. Now I don't want to boast. (lies.) But I can rock out probably 10 times a day before I lose interest or my cock feels like its been through the final stretch of a week long whipping cough and strep throat run. Why wouldn't you want to feel that relaxed. Why are bathrooms put in everywhere to "relieve" yourself but there aren't many public places for you to take a few minutes to massage that little clit so you could be better prepared to handle your calamity of a boss without handling a loaded .38 into your mouth. Sure there are those porn theaters and jerk off rooms but its not the same. I want goverment engineered and sponsored "melt down centers" all over the country. Sex is nice but you need something or someone there to I dont know reciprocate, squeeze, smell...curse at? This idea started as a sentence in a conversation and has now after a week of monologues, made its way to my blog. So I hope you enjoyed it.


til next time...FYDS

-Db